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Here’s Why Your Self-Care Routine Isn’t Working

Here’s Why Your Self-Care Routine Isn’t Working

How many of us have a self-care routine?

Not speaking of things you do time to time to treat yourself, but what do you do every day to take care of yourself? A self-care routine is by no means some kind of immunity to negative energy, but instead an introduction to shifting it back to positivity.

Let’s be honest, day to day life, especially in a major city like NYC, is exhausting. There are barely any moments for peace. Everything is always on the go. We all have neighbors, roommates, co-workers, and even strangers that take up small parts of our energy through every interaction.

Thankfully, self-care is now a more substantial part of a conversation. We notice strides in this topic through the Black community like never before.

But does anyone know what Self Care actually means?

According to psychologist Kristen Suleman, a suitable definition with this term is:

“… really anything that we do deliberately (or refrain from doing) with our own well being in mind. It means giving ourselves the same grace, compassion, and care that we give to others”.

A self-care ritual does not mean that every action has to be physical. Although things we do physically can influence our mental health, a self-care routine should focus on just that—our mental health.

As a Taurus woman myself, I LOVE SELF CARE. This attribute gets written off as laziness; however, our sign is the sign of the 5 senses. We often experience life through all of our senses and enjoy spoiling our mental health from time to time. You can often hear me quoting the infamous “treat yo’ self” quote from that Parks and Recreation episode.

Growing up an only child with a single parent, I also believe that being by myself most of the time allows me to understand the importance of taking your happiness into your own hands. We have to take care of ourselves. As dark as it can sound, no one will be there ALL the time.

Now, when deciding on a self-care routine, please don’t overdo it. Mine used to be all over the place. I went back and forth because of the dangers of taking care of myself and participating in escapism. Overindulging in escapism will only hurt our energy more than help it. I had to ask myself, what made me happy and why? What can I implement DAILY to take care of myself?

My daily self-care routine includes a rose quart roller, one episode of my favorite show (which is currently Imposters on Netflix. IT IS SOOOOOOO GOOD), and journaling. Each of these tasks takes care of a specific part of my mental health.

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I am a lazy acne-prone skincare girl. I get hormonal acne, and my face is dry almost all the time. A nightmare. Using that rose quart roller allows me to really make sure my moisturizer penetrates my skin, and it gives me a sweet and cooling effect. Doing this takes care of my confidence.

The one episode of my favorite tv show brings me peace. Daily, I spend time conversing and emailing with the public. Whether it’s friends, family, or business opportunities, I am talking talking talking. Shutting up and shutting out for 45 minutes allows me to listen to someone else’s storyline. Doing this makes me feel at ease.

Journaling every night allows me to do what I love, write. My journal isn’t as formal as a “dear diary” piece all the time, but a series of phrases, thoughts, and objects that reminded me of the day. At night, for some reason, I get my BRIGHTEST ideas. Here, I can write ideas that are not fully developed on paper so I can remember them. This step provides me with security.

What makes us happy usually includes feelings that we do not often feel throughout the day. Our favorite activities we love are, for the most part, simple.

Do not rush this routine for having one will aid you for the rest of your life. As we grow and glow, what we need will differ as well, so be open to new additions and subtractions.

So what is the one thing your self-care routine needs that you didn’t know it did? Patience. I know we were all expected a specific hair care product that will save our lives, but the most prominent thing your self-care routine needs is forbearance. This ritual does not happen overnight. Many people will tell you it’s about persistence and consistency, but patience will carry over all of those qualities. Patience is what induces the rest of what you need. Listen to your mind, heart, and body. Happy Self-Care, everybody!

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