The fact of the matter is that being a Rich Auntie has nothing to do with monetary wealth, but more so to do with the richness of living a life free of social expectations. According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, “rich” has the following definitions:
- Having abundant possession and especially material wealth
- Having high value or quality
- Pure or nearly pure
Often ‘rich’ is associated with having a high net worth and expensive material items, but the rich auntie just lives a high quality life. As a biological auntie, I like to think of myself as the cool mom. I’m a mother to my nieces and nephews without the full responsibility of guardianship and being a primary care provider. My outlook on being a rich auntie is being that mother figure who does what the f*ck she wants.
We Focus On Personal Development Versus Societal Pressures
There are way too many times I’ve been asked “When are you going to get married, settle down, and/or have some kids?” It is a well-known fact that marriage and babies are constantly projected on, and expected of adult women. Some of this stems from the fact that a great deal of women do want to be mothers someday, and some of it is from traditional gender roles around women being the homemakers. But the rich auntie is a woman who lives a rich life by reclaiming her goals and focusing on different sources of joy, instead of her primary or present goals being centered around building a family.
With the increase of women in the workforce and even in higher leadership positions, we see women shifting a lot of their focus into their career and professional goals. A lot of the women that I interact with have put an emphasis and priority on emotional intelligence and peaking in self-love. We are going to therapy, reading, learning, owning businesses and homes, traveling, and creating a ton of new experiences. Not to say that these things cannot all be done as a mother, but we tend to see the rich auntie prioritize these things and shut out the noise around living up to an expectation being centered around motherhood.
We May (or may not) Want Our Own Biological Children Down the Line
When I think of being a rich auntie I think of the times I am the only one at family gatherings with no kids. I think of taking the batteries out of the clock that says I need to settle down and get pregnant within a given timeline, despite what we’ve been taught about a woman’s aging reproductive system. The evolution of fertility or at least the visibility of it has truly evolved over the years. There are options such as oocyte cryopreservation, or more commonly known as egg freezing, where a woman can preserve her eggs to fertilize at a future date.
Also options like adoption, surrogacy, and In Vitro fertilization have deflated so many of the pressures to have children in line with biology. We’ve seen women like Janet Jackson give birth to a baby at the age of 50, and Gabrielle Union at the age of 46 via surrogate. The rich auntie releases the urgency to have children, and it’s now supported by science.
We’re Embracing Motherhood With A Twist
I think it’s fair to say that although a rich auntie may not have kids of her own, she is often looked to as a mother figure. Similar to the word ‘Unc’, a term used for a well-respected male mentor in the black community, ‘auntie’ also comes with an emphasis on respect and being looked up to. In my personal experience as an aunt, I am trusted with some decision making in regards to safety and general guidance. I take my role as a leader in this aspect very seriously, but embrace the fact that I am a mother with boundaries. I genuinely love my capacity to nurture not just my familial nieces and nephews, but any child I come in contact with while also understanding that these children are not my full responsibility.
Growing up, some of my favorite relationships were with my aunts and uncles because I knew they loved me like my parents did but were a little more fun since their lives didn’t revolve around me. Being a rich auntie allows me to center my world around my own needs and aspirations while also getting to experience and provide a sense of motherhood to the babies around me. As I focus on my career, passions, and emotional intelligence, I find that it has made me a better role model as well. The way you love yourself reflects how well you can provide love to others. By working on my own personal development, I have gained a sense of wisdom and clarity that allow me to be a better guide and provide advice on things that children may look to me for.
Being a rich auntie is redefining your own personal meaning of womanhood. It’s a rich lifestyle centered around confidence and individuality, with the flexibility of experiencing motherhood in whatever form feels best for you. So to whoever is reading this and resonating, cheers to you being a Rich Auntie too!
Asya (pronounced Asia) is a Small Business Owner and Finance Professional who loves the sun, poetry, and plants. Her appreciation for story-telling comes from its ability to provide transparency and balance. Most importantly, she has a shameless utter addiction to just about anything milk chocolate.