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Movies We Love That Are Toxic ASF!

Movies We Love That Are Toxic ASF!

Sis, I’m embarrassed to say that my younger self lived for the cliche black romance movies, at one point if my man wasn’t as fine as Quincy willing to play for my heart I wanted no parts! It was portrayed that for love to be real you first had to struggle, get lied to and cheated on before actually being happy. The writers always knew exactly what they we’re doing because they had us posting Nina and Darius, Monica and Quincy, Jody and Yvette with the #goals underneath.

I’m so sorry we were manifesting all types of baggage without even knowing it. But luckily it’s 2020 and we now know, this ain’t it.

**Warning spoilers included. 

 

Deliver Us From Eva

The first time I saw this movie I absolutely disliked Eva (played by Gabrielle Union). The definition of a buzzkill, it was the second time watching it that I realized everybody in this movie was dead wrong. 

Eva was wrong for continuously interfering in her sisters’ love lives,  the sisters were wrong for not being upfront about it, and the men should have not paid Raymond (played by LL Cool J) to date Eva. Let’s also note that the real reason the men wanted Eva distracted was solely for their benefit. Raymond was so damn money hungry that he actually gave in when he definitely could have declined and pursued her in a genuine way. Raymond dishonestly watches Eva fall in love knowing damn well the original plan resulted in one goal: to keep her out of the way so that her sisters could finally live their best lives–while their greedy, useless men basked in it.

In the end she ends up finding out about the bet and cuts him off for about a month until he pulls up on her with a horse (pulling an Offset move before Offset) 

 

Love Jones

If I told you how many times friends of mine would bring this movie up, and for what? To relay that tired ol message about “right person, wrong timing”? If someone has to drag you through all of this to figure out you’re the one for them is it really worth it?

Don’t get me wrong they were both doing the most. Darius (played by Larenz Tate) was really just something Nina (played by Nia Long) was playing with. Wait there’s more! Ms. mamas starts dating Darius’s “best friend” after their love goes sour. Soon realizing all of these men are TRASH, she goes back to pursuing Darius & of course they end up giving their love another shot. *rolls eyes*

 

Brown Sugar

Whew, One of my faves! I can watch this movie everyday and still have that corny little grin after Dre calls the radio station to confess his love to Sid. BUT this movie is the definition of messy!

Sidney (played by Sanaa Lathan) fronts for the first half of the movie knowing she’s feeling Dre, even after they sleep together BEFORE his wedding. Dre (played by Taye Diggs) isn’t off the hook either because he too shared the same feelings, but decided to still marry someone he was not mentally committed to. Let’s dive more into the messiness: after Dre is married he continues to run to Sid whenever a problem or a big change occurs in his life– not his wife.

Dre’s actions understandably make his wife Reese feel like the second option, causing more drama, more pettiness and more denial. In the end Sidney and Dre both confess their love for one another  (which they could have done without dragging two other people into their mess) leaving the audience googly eyed and hopeful that their love story will be as messy as this one. 

 

Boomerang

This one yells never ever mix business with pleasure under any circumstances. Marcus (played by Eddie Murphy) is the typical f** boy, shallow, manipulative and should be crowned the king of ghosting. Planning to add Jacqueline (Robin Givens) to his list of toot it & boot its backfires drastically when they both begin to realize she is way better at this game than he is. 

You would think that this would put a halt on his selfish tendencies, but to add fuel to his fire Angela (played by Halle Berry) steps in, in hopes to shake him out of the depressive heartbreak. Knowing that he still had feelings for Jaqueline and uncertain about his true desires for Angela he does what any f** boy would do.

It takes him laying in bed with another woman to finally get this epiphany that Angela is actually the one for him.  He couldn’t have just come to that conclusion without doing all of that???

Love & Basketball 

I think we’ve all came to the conclusion that Love & Basketball is no longer on the #goals list. Quincy (played by Omar Epps) was trash from the start, throughout the entire movie he holds some type of animosity towards Monica (played by Sanaa Lathan) that only seems to grow–along with their feelings for one another–as they get older. NOT EVEN A FULL WEEK INTO THEIR COLLEGE ROMANCE he cheats on Monica gaslights  and makes her feel guilty for “choosing” her career over him.

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It’s notable though that he treats Monica more like a convenient stop than his actual girlfriend, and she sticks it out for years.Quincy did know what type of hold he had on her which just makes it that much worse. 

All of Monica’s efforts leads to them playing a one on one heated game of basketball that determines whether he gets married in two weeks or gives Monica another chance. They end up getting married, Monica gets her spot in the WNBA, has a child with Quincy and they live happily ever after…well at least that’s what we think.

 

Just Wright 

There’s a lot of reasons this one is on the list. First I must say I wasn’t too fond of the way this film played heavily on the plus sized stereotype that bigger women can’t get men at all. This was made even worse in comparison to her thinner, air headed, money hungry self absorbed cousin Morgan (played by Paula Patton) who always got any man she wanted. In a twist of events, Leslie who also happens to be a “tomboy” (what a surprise) gets invited to Scott’s (played by Common) fundraiser party that she stupidly brings her tag along cousin to. Of course Scott goes for the eye candy leaving Leslie high and dry. 

Not even a month later Scott proposes to Morgan but gets seriously injured during a game. With his injury bringing out Morgan’s true colors, she realizes there is a chance Scott could potentially no longer be apart of  NBA and decides to call off the engagement. Leaving Leslie to fix all of the damage, including winning Scott’s heart, only to be left again once Morgan makes a dramatic return. But as expected… Leslie & Scott end up together. 

 

Think Like A Man

Based on Steve Harvey’s book Act like a Lady Think Like a Man , this movie focuses on five types of dating drama men and women often meet in their journey to find the one. All of the characters face challenges within their relationship, turning to Steve’s book to figure out the answers (is when the movie takes a turn for the worst).

The advice given paints a narrative that women must pacify themselves to find love. While the men are granted the right to be judgmental, sexist and only respecting women who have “respectable standards” regarding their intimate life. All of the advice throughout the movie is 110% dedicated to the male viewers. It’s like Steve and the directors forget women exist. 

The male characters are never really held accountable, which puts the pressure on the women to figure out how men’s minds work ito save their relationship. Why on earth did we once live for this movie?! 

Listen… I know for a lot of yall this was all a bit too much to grasp. Our favorite movies set US UP. (But ima still watch them though)

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