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What We Can Learn About Self-Advocacy From Cardi B’s Divorce

What We Can Learn About Self-Advocacy From Cardi B’s Divorce

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The influence of celebrity relationships leaves couples such as Beyonce and Jay-Z, Saweetie and Quavo, Cardi B and Offset, and many others as an example of what love is supposed to be. What happens when these couple’s break-up?

Cardi B filed for divorce from rapper Offset on Tuesday, September 15, 2020. Though the news was a shocker, the rumors of Offset’s many infidelities left many fans understanding of Cardi’s decision. In December 2017, after Offset’s infidelities were made public, Cardi shared a post to Instagram stating, “I guess we grew out of love,” also mentioning it might be time for a divorce.

 

 

Cardi B and Offsets marriage was heavily scrutinized from the beginning because of its unorthodox nature, the two secretly got married in September 2017, only a month after Offset proposed at a Philadelphia concert.

Immediately following their marriage announcement, several women came forth with claims that Offset had been involved with them while married to Cardi. This resulted in public apologies in which Offset would show up to Cardi’s concerts apologizing and begging for her back. By January 2018, the couple reunited. Unfortunately rumors of infidelity continued to surface, prompting Cardi to make the final decision to be free of her marriage.

The choice to file for divorce could not have been an easy one for Cardi, but it does illuminate a powerful lesson in self-advocacy and self-preservation. Choosing your own happiness over the status quo of fighting for your marriage “no matter what”, is an experience many black women do not feel free to make. We’re taught to make it work, hold it down, ride or die, and always be there. But at some point you have to make the space to ask:

“Well… who’s going to be there for me?”

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In addition to the guilt black women unfairly feel during break ups, the pressure of hypervisibility can make the choice for self even harder. The broadcasting of Cardi and Offset’s relationship troubles was made even more intense through Offset’s apology tour, urging the public to largely obstruct a decision Cardi was working to process in private. His use of grand gestures as a bandaid for his own infidelity is not an uncommon tactic, we’ve all seen it before. It’s expected for black women to remain omni-forgiving, even in the face of chronic mistreatment.

However as a businesswoman and mother, Cardi continued to break down barriers and ensure her legacy for years to come. For the latter half of summer 2020, Cardi B has topped charts domestically and internationally. Her song W.A.P, featuring Megan Thee Stallion has sat on the Billboard Top 100 for 5weeks. Her work ethic, authenticity, and creativity has allowed her success to bypass all expectation. Now more than ever, she’s in a place to reclaim her time and her joy.

It is commendable that Cardi has decided to choose her happiness over how she will be perceived by society and her fans. Cardi can now be an example of the strength it takes to finally choose oneself and the importance of realizing sometimes the best relationship goal is the relationship you have with yourself. 

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