Chilling in each others dorm rooms, eating lunch together in the caf, turning up for homecoming, supporting each other through finals…. we all low-key want college love. You know, that Monica and Quincy type love
However, any relationship comes with a lot of work. Top that with all the craziness school can bring, and its bound to get a little tricky. So how do you really balance it all?
College relationships can be super time consuming. You already have a full schedule of classes, a job, an internship, club meetings, and taking care of yourself. When do you have time to add a relationship into your already busy schedule? Truth is, your relationship should never be looked at as a hindrance or a duty, it should be fun! Your relationship should have an understanding of the time you both have in the day. I recommend sending each other copies of your school schedule, work schedule, and any other schedule that affects the time you have available. You two can agree to have lunch together at the cafe certain days of the week, have movie nights on the weekends, or study together after classes on a day you’re both available. The only way your relationship can work is if you work together and around each other.
Relationships run on three main components – trust, communication, and understanding. In college relationships, you have to be extremely understanding without compensating your own needs or happiness. Unfortunately there is no cookie cutter guide that will fit all relationships. Your schedule can change rapidly and without notice – sometimes you may have to study alone for a big test, go to bed early because you had a long day, or suddenly need alone time for your own mental health and that is okay! Date someone who understands that life happens and you have to put yourself first sometimes. Make sure they make time for you and you make time for them!
Work as a Team
A relationship can be one of the most beneficial connections you have in college. Your significant other can be more than just your boyfriend or girlfriend– they can be your support system! In college, you need support, whether it be from your friends, peers, or professors. On a long day, my boyfriend will rub my feet, make sure I always remember my goals for the future, and make sure I’m focused on my long term goals. You can study with your boyfriend/girlfriend, bounce ideas off of each other, proof read each others papers, and simply be there for each other. College can get lonely, its nice to have someone in your corner that you can go to after a long day or week.
Be Your Own Person
It is easy to become too attached to someone and miss out on self growth opportunities. This is something I have personally struggled with because my boyfriend is also my best friend. We love doing everything together and hate being away from each other. This happens in many relationships and it isn’t completely a bad thing.
However in college you have to make your own path and make sure you do things that benefit you. You and your significant other are two different people, no matter how many things in common you both share. In order to be your own person in college make your own friends, join clubs that fit your specific interests or major, and apply for internships that help build your résumé. You belong to yourself first and you must always remember that. Look at your relationship as two wholes coming together to become one big great thing! Don’t look at it as two halves creating a whole, because you alone are a whole person.
Good luck in all relationships you form whether it be romantic, platonic, or connections with people in your field. Relationships are supposed to be fun, they can be hard at times, but remember trust, communication, and understanding will get you very far! You belong to yourself first, and you are important, don’t let anyone convince you that you aren’t!